Miltank (HeartGold & SoulSilver HS 47) – Card of the Day

pokebeach.comHey guys, it’s Celebi’! I’m back with a new Card of the Day. As requested by Adam himself, I’ll be reviewing Miltank from HeartGold & SoulSilver.

Miltank is a basic Pokémon with 90 HP. Even with the buff dragons and genies in this format, 90 is a great number. Three retreat is nasty, and Fighting weakness really hurts with Donphan Prime showing up in some of the best decks in the format (anything with Reuniclus as well as MegaZorD and other Stage 1s). No resistance is fairly common.

There’s not much to talk about as far as Miltank’s stats, so let’s get right to the attacks. The first has probably the most epic name of any attack ever printed: Moomoo Squeeze.

That’s right, Moomoo Squeeze. You get to search your deck for a Moomoo Milk card and put it into your hand. In case you didn’t already know, Moomoo Milk is an Item that lets you flip 2 coins. For each heads, you get to heal 30 damage from one of your Pokémon. It can turn your average Miltank into, well, a tank.

Optimally, you’ll heal 60 damage a turn, and Miltank will just keep steamrolling your opponent. Plus, when you bring this Miltank deck to your Battle Roads (which I’m sure you all will), and announce Moomoo Squeeze, your opponent will probably scoop from sheer awe.

In case you have to deal damage, there’s Miltank’s terrible second attack, Body Slam. For three C energy it does a paltry 30 damage, and flips for Paralysis. This will never KO anything, except for a baby Pokémon, which is why Miltank needs the help of her bovine buddies. Let’s take a look at the decklist.

Pokémon – 20

4 Miltank HS

4 Tauros UL

4 Bouffalant BLW #91

4 Blitzle BLW #40

4 Zebstrika BLW #43

Trainers – 24

3 Pokémon Collector

3 Dual Ball

2 Pokémon Communication

4 Moomoo Milk

4 Life Herb

4 Potion

4 Full Heal

Energy – 16

12 L

4 Double Colorless


Tauros UL

When you build a deck with Miltank, you’ve got to include her boyfriend Tauros – not that he’s a great card. We just don’t want him to feel left out.

Tauros is another bulky 90 HP basic, but with 2 Retreat Cost. Just like Miltank, he has fighting weakness. Tauros’ first attack does 20 damage for a DCE – pretty weak and overpriced.

His second attack, also for a DCE, is the one to use. It’s called “Crimson Bull.” This attack lets you flip 3 coins and does 30 times the number of heads. Plus, Tauros is now Confused (this is why I added the Full Heals). Crimson Bull is a very flippy attack, and is unlikely to make much of a dent on the Defending Pokémon.

However, it does have the potential of doing 90 damage, which is great for the cost. What confuses me is that the attack’s name looks like a reference to Red Bull – I guess it makes you confused? Who knows?


Tauros is Miltank’s pal, but Bouffalant likes her too, and he’s jealous. This dude even has a crazy ‘do just to try and impress her. He wants to get “Revenge” on Tauros. Plus, he’s the only real playable card in this deck, in case you are actually trying to win.


Zebstrika is the last Pokémon on this list. Sure, it’s not a cow, but it’s a zebra – that’s close enough, right? Anyway, the reason I included Zebstrika was that it’s so cool, it kicks your opponent’s rear – literally. No, seriously, its attack is called Rear Kick.


I included maxed-out lines of not only Moomoo Milk, but also Life Herb and Potion, just to increase the whole “tank” element.

“But Celebi’,” you may ask, “what happens when your opponent gets set-up and 1HKOs you? There sure are a lot of attackers in the format that will 1-shot all these 90 HP Pokémon, especially since they’re all weak to Donphan, which is definition of a fast and heavy hitter. The entire tanking aspect is lost and your deck will get ripped to shreds.”

Oops. Didn’t think about that. ;)

I hope you all enjoyed my review! Seriously, if you have a few Miltank lying around, you could bring this deck to league to get a few laughs. Innocent_Shine said: “We are Pokémon fans; we do not represent the height of maturity.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.

Reader Interactions

16 replies

    • Kyle Lane  → Jak

      Since when is a fat fingered dude letting a pokemon suck on the nipple of a decapitated armless cow wrong?

  1. Simon Narode

    This is cute. : )
    If Tauros can do 90 on T1, it’s pretty cool. I’m curious what you’d name this bovine deck.

  2. Lynx Meche

    Ahaha, glad this made it on here. Crimson Bull would be a cool band name. Or deck name, either one.

    I’m gonna find a junior and tell them they need to play this deck at BRs. Maybe their opponent will end up laughing so hard about it that they’d get called on stalling or signalling to other players and take a penalty loss.

  3. mike newman

    Take notes, whoever wrote that god-awful Joltik article. This is good stuff.

  4. Mike Broodman

    This CotD is very nice,also it comes with a funny deck.Great article!

  5. Sam Marshall-Smith

    Moomoo Squeeze will sonn be out awesomed by the upcoming Darmanitan with an attack called… DarMAXitan. Yeeeeaaaaa!

  6. Sam Marshall-Smith

    Every. Friggin. Time. Can someone delete this post please?

  7. Travis Yeary

    I think you overdid it a bit. I love the cow joke, but the idea of a deck around it was stretching it a little.

  8. Steven Nilsen

    -1 zeb
    -1 cow
    -2 p comm
    +4 max potion
    I’m building it.  

  9. Steven Nilsen

    What about Sawsbuck!  Gotta make space for the deer
    and his hypnotic partner … Stantler – the obvious opener

  10. barryfken

    Putting my Bouffalants and Tauros to good use….Thank you, Celebi’.

  11. theo Seeds

    Why would you make this a COTD? If it’s an article than treat it like one.

    Also, Everyone Explode Now is a better attack name. Someone should do that.

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